We survived, the pets survived. I always get nervous, leaving my kitty home by herself for even short periods as she is so freakin' OCD. But she surprised me. She was calmly asleep when we arrived home. She sniffed me from head to foot for about five minutes. It appears she ate and drank while we were gone and she's not even mad at us.
The trip was very relaxing. We did a lot of walking. Saw sea lions and tons of birds. I really enjoyed the acorn woodpeckers, never saw them before. We watched about a half dozen of them cavorting around some tall palm trees. they store their acorns and other small treasures inside holes they drill in the trunks.
Just before we came home, we were killing time in a dive bar called The Marlin Club. It's a local hang out, very small with just a bar and one pool table and a couple of other tables. The bar is shaped like the bow of a boat, very cute.
Well, the place was filled with drunk men who all knew each other. Kinda like Cheers (but less classy). When they realized we were writers, they were all trying to give us things we could write about (yeah, thanks!) They started with the story about the man who rode a live bison into the bar. They have a picture of it, so that story was true (and heck, I might even use that one). Then the stories degenerated. We learned how the rather well-endowed mermaid ended up hanging up over the bar. Then the bartender told us a shaggy dog story about accidentally lighting his neighbor's balcony on fire with his barbecue, and he was wearing this apron, so he lifted up the apron and there was a fake penis that he used to squirt water on us. Rob laughed so hard he almost fell off his stool.
Once the penis jokes started, there was no turning back. We had to endure the story of the penis that was so long, the guy could stand five feet from the bar and pick up a dollar bill with it. Then we had a demonstration; bartender slapped a dollar bill on the bar and then he whipped out another fake penis and swung it and it somehow did stretch about five feet and grab the bill off the bar.
By now I was in hysterics. And this story is probably not very funny in the retelling because I think you had to be there. Something about the surprise factor. These drunk guys were so happy to have a fresh audience they were pulling out all the stops (and all the penises, too). I was relieved when it was time to go catch our boat. I wasn't even drinking at the bar, just coffee, but it was probably the most entertaining 30 minutes of the whole weekend.
Thanks for reading,
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